run for your life

i must tell a humorous story to begin with. i told my mom just now on skype and she said it was blogworthy. :)

as you know, stomach issues are not fun issues. i've lost about ten pounds since i left tulsa, so it is actually becoming a problem. i try not to eat because that triggers the issue. so, tonight i went out to eat with liz and adam and the crazy kids (which was super fun, i loved every minute). we went to "on the border" and i got their tortilla soup. i've had it before, it always tastes good, i had some confidence in how it would settle. so we went in a few stores, and walked around, then grabbed a taxi. as we exited the mall, i thought to myself, "i should find a bathroom....naaaah, i'll make it." however, i did not factor in the traffic. we had to drive MAYBE a mile and a half? and 20 minutes later (literally) we are a block from their house....but it would take 30 minutes to navigate the traffic. i looked at liz and told her she had to give me her keys because i was going to have to run for it. so i did. i darted in and out of traffic with my backpack, the keys, and HUGE packs of diapers in each hand. its obvious when you're being laughed at. it was obvious that i had created all kinds of humor. i wanted to cry when the elevator was at the top and i had to wait. poor adam and liz came into a dark house, the door wide open, and their diapers thrown on the floor. :) but, i made it.

on another, lighter, less bathroom-y note :), i've been reading Isaiah. i love this book. i always feel as though it gets me ready to fight. or reminds me why i'm fighting. or comforts me when the battle seems too much.

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the L-RD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the L-RD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The L-RD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. Isaiah 58:8-12

i have found such comfort in this passage of scripture over the last several days. there are such incredible promises! when i cry for help, He WILL answer. when i spend myself on behalf of the hungry or satisfy the needs of the people around me, my light (which comes from HIS light) WILL rise in the darkness. the L-rd WILL guide, WILL satisfy, WILL strengthen. in light of the last few days, as satan has attempted every avenue of hindrance, this brings such a sense of triumph! yes, my stomach hurts. yes, i miss my family. yes, my heart aches. yes, i feel out of place. but look around! see the needs, hear the people, give of yourself. i am most certainly in a sun-scorched land and my frame NEEDS His strengthening. He brings triumph for me. He is my victory. i love it!

there are about 3 songs on repeat right now: desert song from hillsong, a song from ashlee, and close to your heart from the glorious unseen:

You look down from heaven
and melt me with Your gaze
then You come down from heaven
and wrap me in Your wings
and it makes me feel loved again
so close in Your arms
and it makes me feel home again
so close to Your heart
oh L-rd,so close to Your heart G-d
so close to Your heart G-d
so close to Your heart
i'm so close to Your heart G-d
come draw me into You
i'm so close to Your heart G-d
here I am G-d
draw me into You